I originally had a different post planned for today, but Monday marked a significant day for me and it inspired a little something. As a result you will have to wait a week for said post and listen to this incessant ramble. 🙂
Now, my family who’s reading this blog right now is probably sitting there perplexed scratching their heads in confusion. I assure you, you don’t have the days wrong. My *coughs* day was still on Tuesday. But the anniversary event I am referring to took place a day earlier.
On April 16th 1997 I gave my sister a warm hug goodbye as I prepared to leave her new home up in Northern California. My lame boyfriend from the time (that’s a post for another time) was in tow. We had enjoyed a wonderful reunion, catching up on what turns her life had made and what new and exciting things lay in store. I had no idea this would be the last time I would ever see her.
Kristi had become a model for anyone looking to turn their life around. Facing the problem that had taken hold of her life, she was willing to take the giant steps necessary to better herself and end the control bad influences and habits had on her. She said No More to drugs. Putting a safe distance between her and old influences she moved twelve hours away.
She was clean! Got a job. A really great job and took on many new challenging responsibilities. But most importantly, she was happy. And that was what I saw when I visited her to see where and how she was living. So beautiful in her newly discovered bliss, her aura glowed – detectable to even me.
Our relationship had never been the close-knit bond parents hope their children might have. Our paths and personalities set us apart. Me, always wanting to help fix and guide, her, always needing to find her own path. But in maturity and soberness we found each other. Maybe it was simply being able to understand.
She had always been young and free-spirited. I was always too grown up, even as a child. Mature and by the rules. In the middle was where we needed to meet.
…and met that week we did. When it was time to leave, I felt so incomplete. Just then, into my hand she slipped a card. Something she had written just for me and I cherish to this very day. One month to the day she’d move on from this world and I ask you, was that goodbye enough… to be all right letting go?
I’ve had many chances at goodbyes, said many different ways. Some I’ve been present for as they quietly slipped away. It’s never easy and it never feels complete. Almost always, there’s something left heavy, dragging at your feet.
But the most important thing to remember in each and every day is to be happy and enjoy life with an open heart and mind. Remember, any day could be our last day. Live with no regrets. Tell the one’s around you how you feel and don’t let unspoken truths remain a wall between the two of you.
Love is eternal. It will transcend death. But trust me when I tell you, say the words now. Don’t wait till it’s a wall of world between.
Don’t hold on to hate, anger or rage. These emotions consume and it’s only yourself that is ruined. Forgive and move past. It’s a liberating feeling. Celebrate life whenever possible. Don’t punish it.
Next month it will be the fifteen year anniversary. Will I do something to honor my sister? I might have something in the works. Do you honor your loved ones that have passed on? Loving them in your heart is always more than enough.